


Flesh Wounds

by Bandshe



Series: Cullen Rutherford and Autumn Lavellan [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 11:19:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3445172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bandshe/pseuds/Bandshe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen finds out that Autumn was severely injured, almost dying during a mission. He waits with Dorian to hear whether or not she was saved by the surgeon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flesh Wounds

Cullen hunched over his desk going through all the reports he was receiving from Scout Harding. 

“She has really nice handwriting.” Cullen looked at his writing, his lip curled in disgust. “How can anyone even read this mess?” He flips over his papers shamed by his handwriting.

“Ser, ser.” a scout at Cullen’s door hyperventilated, trying to get his words out. Cullen looked up at his annoyed at the interruption. 

“What is it? I’m busy reading over reports.” Cullen stood with his arms crossed.

“Ser, I think you should be sitting for this.” the scout nervously rubbed the back of his neck in a similar fashion to Cullen.

“I will not sit down until you tell me what is going on?!”

“Yes ser. It’s the Inquisitor, she’s been hurt. Scout Harding rode as fast as she could to get here. She says it’s serious. You have to go and talk to Harding.”

The words hit him like a boulder. Cullen sank into his chair, tears formed in his eyes, his face frozen in disbelief. “Tell her I’m coming there as soon as I can. I just…”

“I understand ser, take your time.” The scout turned on his heels and walked out the door.

Cullen didn’t believe what he had heard. He got up and paced across the room a few times. He climbed the ladder leading up to his room, he went up there expecting to see her in his bed, or maybe even himself. Maybe it was a bad dream. It had to be. His bed was empty, in fact he hadn’t slept in it at all since she had left. He fell asleep at his table for the most part. Sometimes he’d wander the battlements and he’d sleep in the random beds in the towers, to the dismay of the soldiers. The beds were theirs, but he didn’t care, he wasn’t going to go to his bed without her there. He climbed back down, his body shaking. He made it to Scout Harding not even knowing how arrived to the courtyard.

“Commander, I’m sorry, but the Inquisitor is pretty bad. She is lucky that Solas was with her, if he wasn’t there…” she looked at the broken man in front of her and stopped. “She’s alive, she lost a lot of blood, and she’ll be scarred, but she is strong.”

“I don’t care if her whole body is scarred, I just want her back and alive.” He was angry at her for going. She made it seem like it was going to be an easy trip. Maybe some condolences and what not, but not her almost ending up dead somewhere. “When will she get here?” He asked ringing his hands.

“Tomorrow. She’ll need a surgeon, you better let them know now.” Harding said.

“No, you tell them, I need to go to my office. Oh, Harding?”

“Yes Commander?”

“You have really nice handwriting.” 

“Uh, ok, that was, not what I expected.”

“I need my mind elsewhere, Harding.”

“I understand Commander.”

Cullen made it to his quarters and closed the door behind him. He knew today was one of those days where he should invest in getting a lock installed. He debated on whether or not to stay in his quarters where he had to risk everyone barging in, or in her quarters which had a lock, but he may not be the first to reach her when she comes through the gates.

“I’m going to her room before all of Skyhold knows what happened.”

It didn’t take more than fifteen minutes before all of Skyhold knew and he was being stopped every step he took. 

“Leave me!” he screamed at everyone. Everyone stopped and let him walk on by. He stormed off to her quarters, slamming the heavy doors behind him.

All of Skyhold was afraid to make any noise. They feared if they made any sound, Cullen’s wrath would destroy them all.

It was too early for him to go to bed, but he forced himself to take a nap. He tossed and turned in his sleep. It was bad enough he worried about his love, but now he was having headaches due to the lyrium withdrawal. He cried himself to sleep, hugging her pillow as if it were her. He awoke to a knock on the door. He stayed quiet hoping that whoever was there would leave.

“Commander, I know you don’t want to talk to anyone, but you know someone will eventually come in there whether you like it or not.”

“Tell Cole not to. I don’t want to talk.”

“Why?” a soft voice asked puzzled by his statement.

“Dammit Cole. I don’t want you here.”

“You’re hurting.”

“I know. I don’t need you here to tell me that.”

“You have food at the door.” Cole added, hoping that was something he could tell Cullen that he didn’t already know.

“Ugh, thanks.” Cullen walked down her stairs and opened the door. There was a tray on the ground with some turkey, bread, potatoes and gravy. It was a basic meal, but he didn’t care. As long as he ate, was all that mattered.

“Why are you still here Cole?” Cullen was still annoyed with him.

“To help. The Inquisitor always let me help those close to her. You’re closer than anyone else, your love is different. It’s purer, truer, heavier. It’s in pain right now, your love. You know she’ll come back, but you fear she won’t stay.”

Cullen removes his cloak, Cole still surprised that clothes come off. He starts removing pieces of his armor quietly while Cole watched him pensively. Cullen takes off his shirt and looks at Cole.

“Do you see this Cole? This scar I received in Kirkwall. I nearly died from it. It was from the sword of the Knight Commander, my superior. It wasn’t the cut itself that almost killed me, it was the infection. What Autumn, the Inquisitor has suffered is worse. From what I was told there was a great deal of blood loss. If that is the case, then she has a higher chance of an infection. She might’ve survived in the battlefield, but who is to say she won’t die here in Skyhold? To think, I was just worried about her coming home with more bruises and possibly a broken bone or two.”

Cole looked at Cullen as he put his undershirt back on. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help. Don’t tell the Inquisitor, I don’t want to make her disappointed.”

“Cole, you can stay. I think we both need this. We’re both in pain.” Cullen sat on the couch in her room. Cole paced around her room. He looked through her bookshelves occasionally picking up a book to read it. “She has so many books, not like downstairs, but a lot for her sleeping quarters. I wonder if she has more.” Cole was in awe.

“She has more up stairs. Dorian keeps bringing her more. He has them sent from Tevinter and gifts them to her. They both love to read and learn, it helps them unwind. She looks so innocent with her nose buried in a book.” Cullen smiled as the image made it’s way into his mind.

“Why would she bury her nose in a book?” Cole asked trying to place his nose into the book he was holding. Cullen chuckled.

“It’s a figure of speech. It means that she has her face so close to the book that it looks like she’s burying her nose in it.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” Cole closes the book and places it back on the shelf.

“What was that book about Cole?” Cullen asked.

“I don’t know, the words are worn, but inside there is a note, it says, ‘To Cullen, now is the time for me to give you this book Dorian got for me. I hope you like it. It’s a nice history book on the Chantry and Templars. Can you imagine how awkward it is for two mages to be reading this book, let alone request it to be sent? I think Dorian almost threw up in it a few times. You should’ve heard the stories he made up about the Templars. On second thought, maybe not. I love you my Lion. Enjoy this book as much as Dorian loved mocking it.”

“I think Dorian didn’t like it.” Cole said about to place the book back on the shelf.

“No.” Cullen stopped Cole. “Give it to me. I’ll read through it. Thank you Cole. You did help me a lot. You can go now, it’s my turn to bury my nose in a book.”

“You’re welcome Commander.” with those words Cole disappeared. Cullen opened the book and read it, forgetting his meal. Soon he fell asleep on her couch.

A hurried knock pounded on the door. There was no response from within the room. The door flung open.

“Commander? Commander, wake up! She’s here!” Cassandra yelled at him.

Cullen jumped off the couch and took off running down the stairs. If he could’ve jumped out her window and survived he would’ve done it to be the first one there. He pushed his way through the crowd. She was laying in a cart. 

“Inquisitor, my love, can you hear me?” Cullen practically yelled at her.

She opened her heavy lids and smiled at him. Slowly she reached up to cup his face. She let her hand fall as she closed her eyes again.

“Cullen you have to let us get by to go to the surgeon.” Dorian pushed him to the side.

“Dorian, you must tell me what happened.” Cullen grabbed him by the arm. Dorian turned to Cullen and hissed, “You’ll have to wait Commander, right now, she needs all of our focus. So either you join us and stay by her side while she is treated or you go upstairs until she is done.”

Cullen looked around at the group of people. He pointed at one of the scouts. “You! Go get Cole!”

“Who?”

“Cole! Oh forget it, go get Varric!” 

Varric was already pushing his way through the crowd, “What is it Curly?”

“Go to Cole and ask him to get the book that Autumn gave to me. Tell him it’s on her couch. Please.”

Varric thought it odd that Cullen was having Cole do things for him. Cullen was always weary of Cole, but he guessed that the Inquisitor being near death was enough to make people forget their differences. Minutes later Cole appeared with the book in hand. He stayed watching as they worked on Autumn.

“You all have to get out of here. There are too many people in here. It’s difficult to work and I’m not going to risk her life because you are all gawking. I understand your concern, but I need to focus.” the surgeon ordered.

“Can I stay?” Cullen said demurely.

“I’m sorry Commander, that goes for everyone. The nurses and I have our work cut out for us. Thanks to the elf, not too much work.”  
Cullen backed out of the room. Everyone paced outside of the door as if she was having a child. Solas was the least worried of the bunch. Cullen approached him.

“Why don’t you seem as worried as everyone else?” Cullen came off angrier than he intended.

“I have confidence in my skills. I’ve healed worse. She has a strong spirit, she’ll come out of it. Her body just needs to relax. Everyone pacing isn’t helping her. She could sense it. She’s worried about you most of all.” Solas said calmly.

“Well, I can’t just leave. I want to be the first to go to her when she awakens, or even before then. If I leave what will everyone think? They’ll think I don’t love her, that I’ll just abandon her.” Cullen spoke so quickly he was barely understandable.

“Then you must get rid of everyone else.” Solas walked off.

“Everyone listen,” Cullen’s voice drowned out everyone else’s. “there is nothing any of us can do. Standing here is showing our love and support, but it’s not doing much more than that. We have to leave here, let the surgeon work. You have to leave.” Cullen corrected.

No one was upset at him for wanting to stay behind while they left. They understood.

“Cole, you stay.” Cullen was looking for the one person that could go into the surgeon’s quarters without being seen. “Cole, I need you to slip in there unseen and let me know what is going on. I didn’t get to have a good look at her, I want to know how bad it is.”

Cole remembered something the Inquisitor had told him. “Sometimes you don’t show them everything. Everything, can break someone. If someone asks and you think it’s too painful, then just tell them what you think will hurt less. Not everyone can handle everything.” Cole remembered this as his disappeared into the room.

Cullen’s palms were wet, cold. His body shivered almost as if it was winter, almost like the night he thought he lost her. “I don’t want to lose you again. Don’t scare me like this. Please, please come back to me like you did after Haven.”

“She’s doing better Commander.” Cole didn’t tell him how pale she was on the table, her lips a light blue, her eyes vacant. At first Cole thought she had died until she made eye contact and smiled. “Cole? You’re a sight for sore eyes. What are you doing here?” her voice cracked, but the surgeon’s were too focused on her to even notice she was talking.

“Your lion. He wants me to tell him how you’re doing. To see how bad you are.”

“Cole, don’t tell him. Don’t let him know, it will kill him.” she held onto his hand, sending a shiver through him. It was a weird sensation, one that Cole had never experienced while there. He wondered if it was her magic dying. He hadn’t heard of it happening outside of making someone Tranquil, but nothing is set in stone.

“She’s better? Is she good enough for me to see her?” Cullen stood up with a relieved look on his face.

“No. They’re still working on her. She doesn’t want you there yet. Give her time. She wants to get to a place where she wants you to look at her without crying.”

“Cole, I’m crying now. Please, can I see her?” Cullen’s voice was shaking as the tears poured down his face. He wasn’t going to be denied being with the woman he loved the most.

Dorian stood at the steps watching the exchange with his arms crossed. A look of pity and sympathy betraying his usual demeanor. He saw Cullen getting closer to Cole and figured he’d do something stupid, which in his experience, Templars typically do.

“Commander!” 

Cullen looked up at Dorian standing at the steps his silhouette blocking the sun. His stance was threatening and Cullen knew better than to try anything. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t be able to fight Dorian, it’s that he wouldn’t do it out of respect to his beloved. _He’s lucky Autumn likes him._

“ What?! I told everyone to leave.”

“And you told Cole to stay, to help. But here you are, threatening him because he’s only doing what the Inquisitor wants him to do.” Dorian walked towards him. “Let Cole go. If he wants to return to her side let him. He’ll let us know when she is ready, but don’t you dare storm in there. For her sake.”

Cullen backed off and let Cole go. “I’m sorry.”

Dorian walked over and sat down on a bench across from the surgeon’s quarters.

“It’s too quiet in there for them having to do major work.”

“You have Solas and Lelianna to thank. Solas healed her and suppressed some of her pain. Lelianna had her scouts find some herbs meant to numb her pain. For all we know they are taking off her hand and she won’t even know it.”

“Not comforting, Dorian.”

“Sorry.”

“How did it happen?” Cullen had calmed down enough to ask the question without sounding as if he was threatening Dorian.

Dorian remained silent for a while, reliving the moment when his friend went down, the way his heart sank, the fear that this time she wouldn’t survive. He panicked, the first one at her side. He grabbed her crying, Solas had to push him away to save her. They got to safety as Bull finished off the pride demon. The lightening went through her like nothing. This made Dorian ashamed of his lightening magic. He never thought about the dangers until he saw her on the floor. 

“She isn’t moving Solas, why isn’t she moving? She always survives. Always. Bring her back you stoic asshole!”

“Do you want me to save her or not? Let go of her so I can heal her.” 

Dorian dropped her hesitantly, as a child would drop their cookie when yelled at by their mother. The way Dorian attended to her one would assume they were lovers, they were more than that, they were family and whether he wanted to admit it or not Cullen was his family too, “by association of course.” he’d tell Autumn. He had held her hand tightly as Solas brought her back, barely. 

She gasped deeply as she returned. Everyone circled her to make sure she was really alive.

“Heh, you guys are so cute. You don’t have to crowd me, I’m ok.” she goes to stand up and lets out a loud scream and collapses back.

“Boss!” Bull runs trying to catch her, but it was Dorian who was there to help her down, preventing further injuries.

“I’ll stay with her and try to heal her further. You two go get someone. Let Harding know, she has to get back to Skyhold, before we do.” Solas ordered.

“Dorian, what happened?” Cullen repeated, the tears pouring down his cheeks. It broke Dorian’s heart to see the Commander in such a vulnerable state.

“It was a Pride Demon. She pushed Solas out of the way, she was going to use her magic, but she’d end up setting him on fire. She the best she could, a fire wall, but that didn’t help. The fool charged the demon. It happened so fast, but at the same time so slowly. Even my magic couldn’t have slowed down time the way I saw it slow down. Bull killed it while Solas and I doted over her. She is a strong woman, despite how weak she was she still tried to stand. It didn’t fare well.”

“Thank you Dorian.” Cullen sniffled.

“Thank Solas, he saved her.” Dorian looked longingly at the surgeon’s quarters.

“No, he healed her, but you were there to save her. I’m glad she has you to watch your back. You’re a great friend to her, I wouldn’t want anyone else by her side.” Cullen matched his expression.

Dorian smiled. This was the closest he had ever gotten with Cullen, he wished it was on better terms.

“What do you have there Commander.” Dorian looked at a familiar tattered book.

“It was the history book you had delivered for Autumn. Cole found it in her room. He read her message to me.”

“What?! She wrote in a thousand year old book?! Oh dear, what is wrong with that woman. Oh well, to her credit it is a piece of shit. No offense.”

“No, it was on a small piece of paper inside.” He opened the book handing the note to Dorian as he chuckled at Dorian’s reaction.

Dorian read it laughing quietly. “She’s a keeper Cullen. Don’t you forget it. If you break her heart, I’ll destroy you.” Cullen knew his threat was genuine.

It was a long wait and Dorian had left to bring back something to eat for both of them. 

“It’s not fair Dorian. I should be on that table, not her.”

“And maybe one day it will be and she’ll be here crying over you, although I see her setting things on fire if she’s not allowed by your side. But you have to remember it’s her job. She's saving Thedas. We’re closing in on Corypheus, soon this will be over.” Dorian placed his hand on Cullen’s shoulders.

“Not soon enough, you’ve gotten close before.”

“And we’ll keep getting closer. Don’t lose faith, if the Commander loses faith, everyone will. You fought so hard to make everyone believe in her. How dare you even lose faith for one second?”

“I’m not losing faith, I’m just scared. I never thought this would happen. I feared it, but never thought it would be like this.”

The door opened and the two jumped off the bench.

“I can’t believe you’re still here. She asked for you, but I told her you’d be gone by now.”

“Woman, are you crazy? How did we ever hire you to tend to the injured. He’s the Commander, her lover, of course he’d be here.” Dorian snapped, not phased by her scowl.

Cullen ran past the surgeon, Dorian followed. Autumn lay on a cot, alongside a bloody table. Cullen looked in horror, the realization that she was so close to death almost made him ill. He sat at her cot and took her hand. 

“My love, are you awake?” Cullen asked desperately. He was still crying, his tears falling on her face as he leaned in to kiss her.

“Yes, my Lion, I’m awake. It seems I got a small scratch.” she played it off wincing as she moved closer to Cullen.

“Somehow I think Cullen could see past that.” Dorian stood at the foot of the cot with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

“Dorian! Thank you Dorian, thank you so much for being there for me. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

“What is it with you two? I was just there while Solas was the one that saved you.”

“He healed me, but you were there to save me.” Autumn nearly repeated everything Cullen had said. Dorian rolled his eyes not even bothering to bring up the similarities.

“Either way, you look so much better. I was beginning to worry that I had to return the outfit I bought for your wedding.”

Autumn giggled.

“There she is, the Inquisitor we all know and love. Well, my sweet, sweet book worm, I have to head upstairs and drink a bottle of wine. I’m glad you’re ok.” Dorian walks towards her, kissed her brow while moving her bangs out of her face. “Cullen cried like a baby. You should’ve seen it.” He whispered to her loud enough for Cullen to hear.

“I did not, I mean I cried, but…”

“Smooth.” Dorian turns to walk out.

Autumn looks at Cullen smiling. “Like a baby huh?”

“I wasn’t the only one crying if you must know.” Cullen tried shifting her focus.

“My Lion, it’s ok. I’d be worried if you didn’t. I’m glad to see you again. The nightmares, the moments where I had to escape to the Fade to escape from the pain. I fought to get back to you.”

“And I’m glad you won the battle. Dorian told me what happened, of course I had to force it out of him.”

“Where is Cole? He was here up until you came in.”

“I didn’t see him my dear.”

“You know Cullen, if you take the covers off of me I’m completely naked under this. I’m sure it’s because of the blood on my clothes, but I say a little sneak peak isn’t a bad idea.” She winked at him playfully.

“How can you joke like this, when you’re…you know””

Autumn looked insulted. She hoped a joke would help the tension. She should’ve known better, it was Cullen she was talking to after all. Serious Cullen, regretful Cullen, sexy Cullen, her mind wandered.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think…I should’ve known better.” Cullen rubbed the back of his neck.


End file.
